homppa

Oh my, reading these old journal entries is kinda painful and yet fun

They are mostly filled with dreams of being an illustrator... doing the thing I really want to do... oh those teen-age dreams

Now I AM a second year graphic design student so I guess a part of that dream is already fulfilled. The problem now is to find an actual job! The competition in the field is huge and my class has very talented guys in it. The atmosphere in the class is bad, comparing to what we had back in Joutseno; we all gave feedback to each other and enjoyed our time back in there. Now you only get cold and bad glances.

I was pretty stuck with my own "art" during my first year, but now in December, I finally found the courage to overcome my one year artblock (you can see it in my gallery, 2012 has only like 2 works in it. And the funny thing is that I actually made them in 2011! What the heck, I didn't do anything in 2012 XD what a shitty year!). So wish me luck! And have a great start for your year 2013!

Hiya all!

I never really know how to start my journals but I just felt like writing 'cause...

I don't like photographing D: And that's what I'm supposed to be doing, right now! My class starts at 12.30 so I thought that I would have some time to photograph in the morning (the deadline is tomorrow) but now I feel like drawing soo much but I can't! Argh. I always get the inspiration to do something at the wrong time. Always! Ooh well... maybe I'll just enjoy my coffee for the whole morning and take the photos after school... I always do everything at the last moment.

So umm... school. It's been kinda boring actually, the first jakso (? dunno what's that in english? A term? Ermm) has only been the basics of the basics. We are painting and drawing and learning the basics of colour and of course that stupid photography.  Though yesterday I think I finally learned something nice. In the colour (color??) class we learned about the use of the harmonic and the disharmonic colours. I've always wanted to learn about that more, 'cause I usually just use the opposite colours in my works. I think we learned something about it in Joutseno as well, but I can't remember anything about it...

As you might have noticed, I haven't really done anything new in ages. Yeah, summer sucked. I hate summers. Yay. But I've got lotsa ideas! So I'm not having an art-block thank god. It's just the lack of time.  I'll try to do some of them as soon as I've got the perfect time for it. So look forward to it!

Oh this entry was such a mess. Sorry about that. I blabber too much.

Whoooooo can't believe it! Someone actually liked my work and bought it... it was the "Mother Earth Before and After" which was my final assigment in Joutseno. I left the work to Joutseno (most of us in our class left their final assigments there to be seen), my previous school and someone who took some summer art classes there loved the work and bought it.
And I also quit my job.

So I'm officially a poor art, or more like a poor graphic designer student right now

I'm really liking my school. All my classmates seem to be nerds. Just like me. Ah. I belong somewhere.

Phew. I'm so happy the heat is almost over! I hate summer. I hate the heat. Urgh.

So... I thought I should write about the stuff that's been going on lately since I haven't done much in here this summer. Mostly I've been working at a local hamburger-restaurant (wow that sounded official) and while I haven't, I've only wanted to sleep and do nothing because of the though work.

I also applied to schools and got in to Kyamk (Kymenlaakson ammattikorkeakoulu)! I really didn't think that I'd get in but I was pretty confident about myself in the exams The funniest thing must've been the interview. I blabbered about all the singing, piano, theatre, writing and of course, all the painting and drawing hobbies I've had. They were impressed about it but they seemed to be more interested about the work I did at the time - the hamburger thing. "Oh that's great! You really learn to deal with the pressure!" I really didn't see that coming! But yeah, dealing with pressure and deadlines is important.

I'm going to move in with my boyfriend, finally! We found a very pretty apartment right next to my new school! It's weird, filling all kinds of papers when there's "...the name of your husband/common-law husband..." ...it's so official. Weird. Though I guess it shouldn't be so weird since my friends call us already the "old-married-couple".

So things are going ok! I'm really happy that I can finally study the thing I want the most. But I really miss my Joutseno-friends! I hope you're doing ok!

My school year in Joutsenon Opisto is about to end. (The school ain't no official high school nor college or whatever you name it. It's just a one year school, for everyone who has the money for it ((Schools  never cost anything in Finland)). It kinda like educates you forward while trying to get into the REAL schools!)
Now that I think of it, I'm really sad... I'm going to miss school so much. All my friends, the atmosphere and even our awesome teachers. And especially my working place! During spring, I found a new corner in our classrooms. I drew and painted many many things. I've never been as creative as I was then.

Most people are waiting for summer so eagerly. I just wish it was over soon. Well, I'm happy that spring is soon over but after that awaits the long, awful hot summer and working. Urgh... the more I do these stupid summerjobs, the more I'm convinced about the fact that I really do want to draw to earn my living. It's the only thing I've always done. Creating. Arts. No matter in which form, music, acting, writing... I've always done something. That's just the way I am. If I were wise I'd choose a safe career. But then I'd just waste the very fact that I am. I only want to create. I'd probably get depressed of not having the time to create any more. It's so weird how some people just can't understand that. "Oh what an awful path you've chosen" "You're never gonna find a job!" "You're gonna end up poor, try to find a rich man" "You know, it's not gonna be easy" Oh yeah? Well life's never easy! Argh! And I do know it's hard, I'm not stupid and especially not naive about it. I'm living it all the time. Yet I guess I'm just a masochist to enjoy it. Because I create. I don't care if I don't have much money. I just want to create.

*sigh* Sorry about that sentimental crap. Ehheh, got a little out of hand...

Anyways, this year has taught me a lot in drawing/painting/creating a picture. It's been so great to do the very thing you love, for a whole year! As always, I've started to understand even better that I'm no painter. Nor an "artist". I think of myself as an illustrator. I've understood it now. I don't have those huge visions and opinions as great artist do. And the work is even tougher than an illustrator's. I've got great feedback of my drawing skills and everyone has encouraged me to master it even further. I've also started to fall in love with printing even more. (Lino, metal graphic printing and etc.) I'm even making my final assignment by printing. It's going to be great!

Ps. I'm also in love with Dragon Age origins I'm soooo hooked it's almost embarrassing... (ALISTAIR )

I WISH YOU ALL A GREAT SPRING AND EVEN GREATER SUMMER!